At the end of my rope…
Lately, things have sucked horribly. I don’t really know what to do anymore. My grades are dropping which is not a good thing because that is all I really had going for me besides theater, but today that got ruined by my drama teacher. I’ve worked so hard put my everything into this and get nothing out of it; I can’t stand that. I worked just as hard or harder than other people and what do i get? NOTHING! i am tired of it! I can’t take this anymore!! this town sucks, I have nothing going for me here nothing at all, everything just goes wrong, backfires. What am I gonna do? I really have no clue…I don’t know how much more of this I can take….Are things gonna get better? I would like to think that, but after everything lately, I don’t think i can beleive things will get better anymore. I try to keep telling myself they will but I can’t beleive that anymore…I think what really lies beneath all of this is that I just want to belong somewhere anywhere…but yet I don’t seem to belong anywhere..I can’t play sports, because i am too uncoordinated, apparently i can’t act either…Is it really too much to ask? I don’t think so…all of my friends have reasons to be happy, and yet here i am alone in this world,with nothing…
I do have my mom, but still family isn’t quite enough, I do love her more than anything because she is my mother, but it’s still not belonging. I know she loves me and cares about me, but i need something more than just knowing that. I feel completely worthless…even my sister has it better than I do, because she belongs somewhere….I look around at people and I know their lives are exactly perfect, but I see how happy they are, but I feel that I can’t be happy because every time i am it gets taken away from me just like that.. The thing that hurts me the most is that I look around and see how everyone enjoys being with their families around here but I can’t do that, my family isn’t like it should be it’s not whole, and it can’t be fixed… My dad doesn’t even live here I don’t get to see him but like twice a year. You would think that because I am a girl a father figure in my life wouldn’t matter so much; but it does..It matters a lot. I need a father there to be proud of me, to tell me how good I am doing to tell me that he loves me.. I try to act happy alot but I just am not, I just don’t want people seeing how screwed up my life really is.I know these problems aren’t that big compared to most people I know I shouldn’t be complaining but after so much it kind of just weighs me down..
I just really don’t know what to do anymore..I am at the end of my rope..
What did Mrs.White do?
I can promise you things will get better and they will also get worse. Within the past few months I’ve learned that life is a rollercoaster. Even if things get better for you there’s no one who can say that they wont get worse again. You just have to keep your head up and your hopes high because if you don’t then you’ll never succeed.
So what if your not good at sports. Alot of people arent.
Your right your not going to go anywhere being in Demopolis. No one ever will. If you really want to make it then put your best foot forward. Set goals to get out of Demopolis to somewhere you’ll have a chance to do what you want. Your at the end of your 11th grade year. Set a goal saying you’ll get a job and keep it or atleast keep [a] job until you graduate. Look at some apartments you’d like to live at and estimate how much money you’ll need to live there and be able to get the things you want. Not saying you have to but if I was you I’d move to Prattville. All of Prattville is on pretty much one road and its easy to get where your going easy and not get lost. Plus your just 15 mins away from Montgomery which is the perfect place to accomplish everything you want.
Don’t be fooled. Everyone isnt always as happy as they seem. Alot of those people you think are happy are actually having a worse time than you are.
Robin said what I was going to in her last paragraph. I’ll add on by saying that if you don’t feel cut out for the spotlight in the entertainment business, try something else. Unless it’s your calling, then I don’t have anything I can really tell ya, accept Demop isn’t the best place for a laid back or unpopular kid. It has it’s perks and quirks, and unfortunately yes some things are biased in favor of a select (predetermined) few, no matter how well or hard you apply yourself.
As to Mrs White, she wasn’t so bad for me. She was alright actually, kinda like one of the adults who doesn’t want to grow up. Of course, that means she’s “in with the in crowd” most of the time. I think I heard someone say that she growled at Robin once LMFAO.
But i think things where just piling up on me lately and i kinda needed to get all of it out in some way or the other.
Lol Mrs.White never growled at me.
Mrs. White and me got along great.
She was my fav teacher.
Ah okay okay peeps lol
Got that straight. It’s fine, I’m bad about going off letting it out every once in a while too haha. Better here than in public lol
I think I’ve done it once, never pretty lol